Have you ever had to kill time in a medical centre, watching the clock tick slowly by while you wait helplessly for your appointment? If you have, you will probably
have been tempted by a swag of colourful magazines containing pictures of seemingly perfect people.
These people are in the ads, in the articles, and in the news. In fact, they're all over the place! Faced with this continual bombardment, I've had times when my
defences weakened to the extent that some part of me said: "Wouldn't it be great to look like that?!"
Rather than bore you with the details of my exercise program, let me say that ideals can sometimes be motivating. But let's face it, they are not always realistic
and as such can produce the opposite effect - demotivation.
Demotivation usually sets in whenever you, perhaps subconsciously, decide not only to try and achieve the ideal, but to measure your progress against the ideal as
well. If you want to stay motivated, I think it's far better to measure how far you've come than how far you've got to go…
After all, how far can you go? What is realistic for you? I'm really not sure. At the end of the day, your personal opinion is as good as (if not better than) anyone
else's. So why not choose a more personal frame of reference?
I've heard it said that measuring your performance against an ideal is like trying to walk to the horizon! You never seem to make any progress, which creates no end
of frustration, discouragement and unhappiness. And it's very true.
Therein lies a major pitfall for anyone climbing the ladder of success. Is what I have planned realistic? Is it ideal? Do any of these yard-sticks really matter? My
response is usually "How are we going to find out?" Usually, the only way is to get started and try.
Because we must exercise our own judgement over what we can achieve, there is always going to be an enormous, yawning chasm between what is real and what is ideal…
and yet, really, the only way to find out is to take action…to get started. Do anything.
Goal-setting can be effective way to do this. But depending on our belief in our own abilities to reach the goals we have set, goals can be demotivators if we set
our sights too high. If we haven't already started then the goals we set may well be completely unrealistic.
If we set our sights too low, our goals can also become an excuse to wait. I have personally observed many examples where talented people could have acted and
achieved a certain result, yet they waited because that goal was ear-marked for June (or whenever).
If we focus only on the goals we have set, rather than on the reality of our situation and on the results we are achieving today, they can also be an excuse to
repeat old mistakes and put in minimum effort. In essence, goal-setting is not always positive.
Basically, if you have to understand exactly what you are capable of before you start, then you probably aren't going to get where you want to be. You automatically
risk falling somewhere short of your own potential.
If this describes your dilemma, here are eight solid tips for bridging the gap between what is real and what is ideal.
- Aim to make your future bigger than your past. You simply cannot grow without striving for something bigger and better. In the short-term, your recent past will be your only
guide. Rely on it heavily.
- Aim to never again repeat past mistakes. The skeletons in your closet provide valuable experiences, but becoming stuck in the past is very limiting. In the past, we learn nothing
about who we are or what we are capable of.
- Always make your contribution bigger than your reward. Regardless of what rewards you may experience -- more money, more recognition, more happiness, more of anything -- always
strive to give back more. Apart from the obvious side benefits to others, this strategy keeps you from becoming satisfied too early.
- Always make your learning greater than your experience. Experience does not guarantee progress. Some people with more experience than you are no smarter or wiser (you know who
they are!) Make your experiences count for something.
- Always make your performance greater than your applause. As your contribution to the world grows you will receive more applause. But when the spotlight hits, don't get caught with
green bits in your teeth!
- Always make your gratitude greater than your success. Some successful people forget that their meteoric rise was partly the result of those who helped them along the way. Never
become a legend in your own lunch-time.
- Always make your enjoyment greater than your effort. Some successful people think hard work is a virtue because it makes them feel they have earned something. Don't be a martyr -
enjoy the fruits of your labours as much as the process.
- Always make your confidence greater than your comfort. Many people begin as risk takers and dreamers, but stop looking at things in this way once they ‘arrive’. Security is a
strange state of mind - watch out for it.
Gordon Gecko (a.k.a. Michael Douglas) had it right in Wall Street when he said that famous line "greed is good". Greed will make you hungry; it will
provide a fire in your belly and give you something to shoot for. With greed, reality doesn't seem quite so important.
Greed will overcome all of the problems, obstacles, and missing information you may think you need before really getting started. It will even overcome premature
comfort. But you will almost-certainly need to balance it out with giving.
The real secret of success is not trying to second-guess your abilities. It is making sure that others benefit as much as you will. Is that unrealistic?
To your success!
